t doesn’t matter how happily married you are, sooner or later you will run into a time when things get boring and your relationship seems a little drab. Fortunately, there are a number of strategies you can try to spice things up and rediscover that thrilling feeling of love that you once held for your spouse. These strategies work regardless of how long you have been married, and they can even help to reunite a couple that is drifting apart, before it’s too late.
1. Take Separate Vacations – There’s nothing wrong with going on vacation with your spouse, but as time goes on, this can become boring. In order to keep things fresh and fun, take separate vacations every once in awhile. Ideally, pick a vacation that lasts for at least a week because this gives you and your spouse the chance to enjoy time on your own or activities your spouse might not enjoy, and it gives you both the chance to miss one another. If you can’t afford to go on vacation, then head somewhere locally or go to the next town/city and stay for the weekend or a few days.
2. Change Your Look – Not many people like to admit this, but most people like things that are visually pleasing to the eye, and this includes the love of their life. Your spouse is probably used to seeing you in the same light, day in and day out. If you want to keep things fresh, do something different with your look. This might involve changing your hair color, going from long hair to short, mixing up your makeup or investing in some wardrobe basics that give you a whole new look. Your spouse can also change their look right around the same time you change yours. This makes for an interesting way to rediscover attraction for each other, and it might just help to bring spark back into your marriage.
3. Enroll in a Dance Class – Whether you choose ballroom dancing or salsa, the act of dancing is sexy, and moving across the floor with your mate can be a lot of fun. Once your lessons are complete, you might even find that you enjoy dancing enough to join a group or club or frequent a dance hall. You don’t have to make it a habit, but if you go once or twice a year, then you may be surprised at what your marriage will be like afterwards.
4. Have Date Nights – Chances are, you and your spouse don’t have date nights often enough, and there are many reasons why. Work schedules, tiredness, routines, kids and lack of funds for babysitters are all reasons why you may not be planning nights out on a regular basis. However, if you want to keep things fun and fresh, then set aside 1-3 nights per month and have date nights. Your date nights can include going out to eat at a really nice restaurant, followed by a few drinks at an intimate bar and then heading to the movies, or you can order a nice meal from a restaurant and eat it at home and then watch a movie, but the main thing is to plan frequent date nights.
5. Don’t Plan on Making Love – As time goes on, married couples have a habit of planning on when to make love. They will either discuss it ahead of time or they will become very routine in when they will make love. This predictability can make the marriage go stale.
The point is to not plan on making love, and instead, just do it. Simply try to be more spontaneous with it by inviting intimacy in the middle of the day, picking a room other than your bedroom or even renting a hotel room for a night to keep things exciting. Your spouse will love the spontaneous nature you start to show, and you will be rewarded for it by a more exciting love making session that is more exciting, fun and romantic.
It’s important to keep your marriage fun and fresh. By doing so, you and your spouse will be happier and your marriage may become stronger. This is the most important relationship you will hold in life, so make it a priority, and if you’ve lost that excitement, do whatever you can to spark it once again.
Waverly Hanson is the best-selling author of “How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage” available on Amazon in print and Kindle formats. She has been assisting individuals and couples with relationship and life transformations for more than 25 years as a therapist, counselor, coach, and consultant. Visit her website marriagecounselingonline.mywebpal.com to learn more.